Our Family.......

Only 38 school days left.....

Every year I make this trip.  Well, every year for the past....maybe eight years?  I always dread it.  I don't know why.  The gal from the other high school just LOVES it.  We were visiting in the gas station in Emporia, where we just happened to meet up, and she told me how much she LOOKS FORWARD to this trip.  I'll bet she likes colonoscopies too. 

We leave at 7:30 in the morning, which is waaaaay too early to be going anywhere with 22 teenagers.  On a bus. 

This is Robert.  Our bus driver.  He ROCKS!  I love Robert and so do the kids.  He gave us a little speech at the beginning about where the exits are in case of emergency, get off the bus and take "nothing with you except the bus driver".  And that his trash can is FREE.  "I know you think I'll charge you to use my trash can.  And other bus drivers might.  But mine is FREE and I don't want you to worry a bit about USING it!"  Humor is always an effective way to get their attention.  If you can.  It's pretty much a crap shoot.

Why is this pictures so blurry you might ask??  Because it's that kind of bumpy ride.  All.  The.  Way.  It's like being in a giant vibrating can. 

Why can you see only nine heads??  That is a great question.  And one that kept me on my toes all day.  There were boys.....and there were girls.....and you could smell the acrid stench of hormones in the air. Apparently there is something about putting adolescents on a bumpy riding bus with each other and no parental units that makes them want to pair off and be "friends".  The girls dressed like lap dancers go first.   

Before the end of the day........it was Dev-con One.

We ate at an authentic Japanese Restaurant.  Have you ever wondered why there are no Weight Watchers meetings in Japan???  It's because trying to balance grains of rice on chopsticks is HARD.  You just give up on eating.

And then....there is always the delightful aroma of gym shoes surrounding your dining experience.

 

And this photo is NOT enhanced.  That is the real color of green tea ice cream.  It's NOT pistachio.  It's not..... exceptionally appetizing either.  Again, I'm sure there are no Weight Watchers meetings in Japan.

The museum is actually very beautiful.  They have lots of sculptures and paintings.

I took this one for Ray and Chad because they like lions.

And the sole purpose for taking this one is because my son in law will look at it and feel sorry for me having to spend an afternoon looking at some ancient teapots.  Misery loves company!

What the heck???  Do you suppose this was subconsciously how I was feeling????  HMMMM??!!

Then we unearthed an ancient......no, wait........that's our tour guide. 

My bad.

This is his delightful wife.  I believe her name is Sarahjane.

She told the kids to follow her husband's group referring to him as "that handsome, dashing young man". 

A couple who has obviously been married for decades and still finds each other attractive and enjoys working together. Probably the rarest thing some of these kids saw in the entire museum!                            I am LOVIN' Sarahjane's shoes! 

I went and sat outside and enjoyed the sunny day (the peaceandquiet) and the sculptures.  And waited.  For the bus ride home.....

I didn't take this picture (obviously).  So I don't have an explanation why there are at least two rows of kids cut off. 

Oh well. 

On the bus ride home (and I swear this is the truth) one of my girls asked me "Are there any cupholders on this bus??".

" ? "

Uh.....no. 

She replies "well there really should be". 

I told her I'd get right on that idea and put it in the suggestion box. 

Then on the way home one of my girls needed a bathroom.  Now.  Same thing happened last year.  But we were near....civilization.  Now we are somewhere between Nowhere and Yonder.

Now, I'm a member of the teeny bladder brigade, and I can understand.  (Hush Michelle!) But.....a little forethought would reeeeeeeeeeally have been good about 30 miles back.  So we find a gas station.  It's closed.  And, apparently with the power of suggestion, 15 others have all developed teeny bladder syndrome too.  NO!!!!!!Back on the bus!!!  We're only 25 minutes from a real town!  However, a short distance away, there is a steak place in a converted modular home.  She takes out RUNNING across the dirt parking lot into the restaurant.  Bus goes four-wheeling after her. About 10 minutes later, as we were forming a search party, she comes out. 

"Phew.  That was close." 

I told her I understood. 

"Oh, no.  That's not it.  They told me they didn't have any public restrooms.  So I had to tell her I was pregnant."

" ? "

I get out of the psych ward on Wednesday.

Sweeeeeeeet...........

Sweet Mother Mary.  I think I've been around teenagers too long.  But I did find this little ditty.  At first I thought.....that's just WRONG.  I love this song.  Then....aw heck.  Maybe we're taking over Russia!

(I'm the chick in blue....)

Though, I doubt they really understand the lyrics "in Birmingham they love the Governor" and "muscle shoals has got the swampers", but hey, they're getting there. 

It's good for a laugh anyway. 

Easter.........

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family.

-- Homer Simpson 

We perform surgery on pants 10 minutes before church...........

Lovingly helping each other out...

Sometimes it's a teamwork thing.

We get dressed in the den....five minutes before church.

Hey - with upwards of 20 people in the house at one time, divided by 2 bathrooms, equals......disaster.

We've ALL been there at one time or another.  What IS amazing is that the hot water heater can keep up.  Usually. 

We shake our booties......

Nah, not really.  None of us have any rhythm.  Well, white people rhythm if that counts. 

Actually this is a picture of my always impeccably dressed mother-in-law showing us that...horror of horrors; she had to wear black JEANS to church because she forgot her DRESS black pants.  Tragedy of epic proportions.  I'm serious.  She is always perfectly coordinated.  I'm sure Gorgio Armani or the Golden Globe nominees call her for advice on whether or not something goes together.  She does NOTHING halfway.  It's perfect, or it isn't done.

Considering all of the packing it usually takes to have a weekend away, most of us at one time or another have forgotten something important.  Underwear, pajamas, medications, air machines, etc.  Not her.  She has everything you might need.  I LOVE traveling with her because of that.  She is prepared.

We tried to convince her that no one would notice (most people in the church can't even see to drive....but DO.)  The whole congregation of 29 people.

What was REALLY funny was, when Skip got there, I leaned over and told him about the "jean fiasco of 2008" and he waited a few minutes...with perfect comedic timing....and said "Evelyn are you wearing JEANS to church??".

"AAAUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Come join us on the "dark side", mom!

We ham it up - even while needing a haircut and beard trim DESPARATELY.  I felt guilty all weekend because of this.  I begged him earlier in the week, on at least 3 different nights to cut his hair.  Then I promptly forgot. 

It was made a little less noticeable when he dressed himself for church.  He packed his clothes himself.  Nuf said?

I felt guilty about that, too. 

We have a good time together.  And I'm always so grateful that we spent time together.

Happy Easter !!!!

This is Ralph.  The Easter Beagle.  (Maltese actually).

Otherwise known as the light of my humdrum existence.

Hope yours was as wonderful, fun and happy as ours. 

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.

-- Richard David Bach

Been a loooong time.......

I know.....it's been a long time since I've updated.  Busy, busy, busy!

It was Spring Break here, and I am SO proud of myself and what I got accomplished!  I spent the first two days cleaning my basement "craft" room.  Yep.  I'm making a space there so I can sew, scrapbook, create and craft, and not have a huge mess.  No pictures of the before....cause I'd humiliate myself.  None of you have a basement that looks like mine did, I'm sure......

But here is my inspiration:  http://megduerksen.typepad.com/photos/craft_room/img_1823.html . 

I've only met Megan once, but I read her blog regularly.  She is SO amazingly creative.  So, I figured if I had a space similar, maybe I could be creative too!

ANYWHOOOOOO....... my favorite shopping buddy and I went to.....Mecca. 

Okay, it's really called Garden Ridge.  But it feels like Mecca. 

Okay, I'm a southern Baptist girl and I don't know a thing about Mecca.

But I LOOOOOOOVE this store!

It's like Hobby Lobby on steroids...

We had SO much fun.  We spent 2 and 1/2 HOURS in one store!

Yes, Chad, Ray,  I know.  It's your idea of hell.

But we had a ball!  I don't think we even got to everything we could have!

But the kids have finished their basement, and it has expanses of bare walls. 

So.....we fixed that problem!

Made ourselves at home right there in the middle of the store.

You just can't visualize this, you MUST spread it out and actually PUT it TOGETHER. 

Then you know. 

We had people stepping around us, but all the other women understood. 

   

Neat stuff. 

Then we went to our favorite restaurant....Zio's. 

I can't for the LIFE of me figure out why we don't have these two FABULOUS places in Kansas.  Wichita at least. 

And....here's a news flash. 

Apparently this is the way you welcome someone new into the family the 'southern' way....

In case you can't read it, it says "big momma just got a new brother-in-law". 

I'm sorry Chad.  I didn't do this for you.  I'm going out right now and put a huge memorandum on my Lincoln just to welcome you to the family.  I'll even use your last name, just so everyone knows it's you. 

You're welcome.

But there will be none of this "big momma" crap.  I'd sooner die.

Then we drove to Okeene.  I love that town. 

We got a taste of small town excitement, too!  The next morning, there was a fire somewhere.  Now, here in the bigger cities, we're used to hearing sirens.  At least once in a while.  That's how you know there's a problem somewhere.

But in Okeene, it's a volunteer Fire Department.  And it's a lot more rare that they are needed.  So to alert all of the volunteer firemen, they sound the town whistle.  And the whistle doesn't stop until all of the firemen are there.  The whistle blew.  And blew.  And blew.  It went on for a GOOD 10 or 15 minutes.  This is a bit unusual, since the whole town is less than a mile square.  As my husband says.... you can "hear four barrells revving up all over town".  Then....LOOK OUT!!!  Those volunteer men are driving like wild apes all through Okeene getting to the fire station.  You do NOT get near a street.

Wait.......here comes "Ed".  (Shell gave him the name.)  On a front loader.  Hauling ass around the corner going to the fire station.  And the siren finally stopped.   

I guess he couldn't hear it above the construction noise.

(click on picture to see full size version).

Then Shell and I took Grandma to eat at the "diner" in town.  It's called the "Whippet Stop".  Because Okeene's mascot is the whippet.  It's a dog for those that don't know.

We're sitting there eating our hamburgers, and Shell pulls a picture off of the wall. 
"Grandma, is this Patti??"

It's a picture of a pretty girl standing on a platform that has just been crowned Homecoming Queen, and a cute football player King. 

Our much loved Aunt Patti died 2 years ago after a brave fight with breast cancer.  We still feel her absence at every holiday (and non-holiday). 

I am as sure as I can humanly be that the picture is indeed of Patti.  Young and pretty and smiling like there's no tomorrow.  And as I watched Grandma struggle to see her youngest daughter's face just one more time, I felt the  pain of a mother's heart that can't reach out and touch her baby just one more time.  Grandma doesn't see well at all anymore.  And she would have given anything to see that picture clearly.  But we heard her tell others as they came later in the day about her discovery.  You could hear the pride in her voice at both finding the picture of Patti and that it hangs in the diner for all to see. 

I am so thankful for my eagle-eyed daughter and the little gift she gave her great-grandma that day.

It was...an AWESOME Spring Break.  From beginning to end.

Wow.....well said!

This guy ROCKS! I've never seen him before, maybe you have?  Except for the expletive at the end, I agree.  Word.....for........word.

My Bro, My Homey, My.....you get the picture.

It's my brother's birthday this weekend!

Now, most little girls think their little brothers are a pain in the butt.  I was no exception.   Well, not NOW so much, but when we were little.....except for the first 10 or 20 minutes, yeah.  He's was a pain. 

He was really cute when he was a baby, though. 

And, I'll be the first one to admit that life with him around was never dull.  As a matter of fact, if he had been a child today, I'm SURE our parents would have been reported to SRS for abuse.  Not that he was ever abused.  But accident prone?  Oh, Lord yes!

He got his first stitches when he was in diapers.  He wanted a pickle.  Duane had just turned 1 and it was Easter at our Grandma's house.  Now, Sunday dinners at Grandma's house were BIG.  Lots of food, lots of family.  Grandma had a nice size dining room, and we filled every last square inch of it.  Chicken fried in cast iron skillets, real mashed potatoes, homemade rolls, mmmmmm.  Back to Duane.  He decides he wants a pickle. Never mind the fact that he's too little to munch a big pickle, he's got four teeth and he's gonna USE 'em!  So brother Einstein climbs up on a chair (where the other 20 people in the house are at the moment, I don't know...) and promptly falls off hitting his head on the baseboard and splits it wide open.  I think he got five or six stitches then.

I don't remember when the next one was....but I think it was when he rode his toy horse into the side of the house and split his forehead open, requiring another five or six stitches.  I think we figured up one time that he's had his head stitched (not counting surgeries) five different times.  When he walks into the Emergency Room, they yell his name like they greet "NORM!"  on Cheers. 

This picture was taken about the time of the first stitches.

He's also nearly cut off several toes (don't remember how that happened), broken his leg, has his orbital socket broken, wired his skull back together, stuffed a wheel from a toy car up his nose, had to have it surgically removed, has had his hand quite literally pinned back together, blah, blah, blah. 

My own daughter has inherited his tendancy for accidents.  When she has had her turn at stitches, etc., she would lay there and beg me "tell me stories of Uncle 'Wayne !!".  I guess misery loves company.

So guess what he does for fun???  Races dragsters.  Yep.  The kind that go something like 392 miles an hour and have a parachute to help stop them.  Danger is in his blood.

And........he's been there for me.  He's very supportive and I know he'll always be there.  I mean, he had his picture taken with me and my hair in rollers.    Now THAT was dangerous.  AND scary.

Looks like we had our hair cut with lawn mowers.  The push kind. 

Hey ya'll, meet "Bubba" and "Valdean". 

Bubba just realized there's a little man inside the box taking his

"pit-chure".....

We celebrated each other's birthdays..

and still do!

He's never afraid to give an opinion........

And I love him very, very, very much!

Happy Birthday Duane!

I LOVE YOU!!

A trip to the Mall...

So....my favorite shopping buddy and I were minding our own busines...shopping at the mall.  Looking for bargains, trying on clothes, looking for bargains.....you know, stuff you REALLY NEED.  (By the way, I found the CUTEST jacket....) 

ANYway...here we are, minding our own business.....and we see......

This. 

I guessed it was a pimple.  I was being a smart ass, I didn't REALLY think that.

But......then again.......

It could pass for some kind of melon....or a fruit sculpture.

Or maybe it's a kids activity (kind of like the giant moonwalk?)

No...it's a tunnel of some kind..

any ideas yet??

It's......

It's..........

SUPER COLON!!!!!!!!

That's right ladies and gentlemen!  Step right up and walk through a colon.  Right here, right now, skip, dance, walk, or hop through a simulated COLON!!

Complete with polyps for your viewing pleasure.

Yep.  We've reached an all time high for T.M.I. (Too Much Information for those that don't know).  Actually Too Much Visual might be more like it.

Shell goes " I can't WAIT to see this on the blog".  I think she might have thought I wouldn't do it.  But hey, I'm just keepin it real.  Reporting the facts.

Now, if you know the history with my mom, you know I'm all for preventative screening.  Really.  Everybody should go to their doctor the minute they turn 50 and demand a colonoscopy. Don't take no for an answer.  I'm all for it. 

But.....somehow when you're snarfing a pretzel... it just seems a little much at the mall......

Men and Women.....the difference