Our Family.......

The waiting room...

What ever happened to waiting room decorum?  I mean, NOBODY wants to be there.  If you are having to sit in the germ infested room  on rock hard chairs, I'm pretty sure you'd rather be somewhere else.  It can be boring, long, uncomfortable.  The news is rarely good.  I find myself in a rather small, stuffy waiting room with some kind of dark rubber liquid that was once coffee.  Just me and a very genteel man I'll call "Merle".  All three of us sitting in silence, waiting our turn.  Me for my mom to have a proceedure done, and him waiting for his own proceedure.  His lovely wife I'll call "Mildred" is by his side.

But once in a while......some blog material comes walking in the door.  I don't have one single clue who this family circus was, but they were definately one of a kind.  There was the loud head of the family, or "mama".  Bubba and his brother Durl.  And apparently their wives, Lurlene and IdaJean.  "Daddy" was the one having some unknown proceedure done.  By the time I spent 7 minutes in the same room with these people, I bet "Daddy" had begged to have a colonoscopy or exploratory surgery to have five minutes peace and quiet.   "Mama" was a really whiny older woman who clearly controlled the bunch with loudly SUGGESTING what she needed. 

And if there is one thing I can't stand, it's an adult who won't come out and ask for something.  And if you do it in baby talk, I'll give you a five second head start before gunning my engine.

"Now if I just had a drink of water to take my pill with.  But I don't." Lady, you are certainly old enough to ask one of your kids if they might get you a drink of water if you can't get your own.  So one of her kids takes the "hint" and offers her a drink of their bottle of Coke. 

"I don't like Coke but I'll take one little sip just to get my pill down!" (Oh, super.  I'll definately sleep better tonight knowing you got your pill). 

"THERE!  I took my pill!!"  (Hallelujah!!)

But bringing the traveling family circus to town, wouldn't you think ONE of the group would realize that not everyone wants to know that you think these nabisco crackers are "purdy good" for the 25th *&^%$ time.

At least 17 times IdaJean kept prompting in a loud nasally whine "now I promised Daddy I'd make you eeeeaat....." .  Get over it chicka.  Your mother is over 65 and she's going to do what she damn well pleases whether or not you promised Daaaa-dy or not.  But I must say when the nurse came and called his name, Merle bolted out of there like greased lightening, leaving Mildred with a deer in the headlights look on her face.  Whatever the test was he was in for couldn't begin to be worse than spending one more minute in that waiting room.  Just me and Mildred and the freaks.

Bubba and Durl must have been sons-in-law, because they seemed a bit disgusted at the whole thing. 

Then Mama states very loudly:  "Now.  We need to get yer brother offa them cigarettes.  We need ta talk ta him. "

At this point Lurlene and Durl jump up, "now you just need to settle down, mama!" (did I miss something??)  "You're gettin' all riled up.  Just settle down!"

At this point my mom's nurse pops her head in the door and calls my name.  I bolt just like Merle.  Sorry Mildred!!

If I'm not returning your call or email it's because...

This has been my view for the last five days...

My mom is sick again.  And I feel really good about the care she is getting (her nurse is an angel), and I feel really bad for the situation.

 

If you don't know the situation before this....you probably won't understand.  If you know my mom as one of her current friends or patients, you won't understand.  If you're related by blood at ALL or have known her in the past....you probably understand exactly where I'm coming from.  She is a very complex person.  There have been times in my life that I was pretty sure if you lifted her hair there would be a "666" tatooed on the back of her neck.  Many times. 

But she is sick now, very, very sick.  And when she is sick, she is vulnerable and childlike.  And this leaves me in a struggle that at times seems to suck the very life away from me. 

I am dealing with this pretty much alone.  My family is there for me, and God love them, I am grateful beyond comprehension.  My daughter was a lifeline this weekend.  I feel so much better after spending time with her and with Chad and Ray.  And bless his little bald head, my husband has been wonderful.  Really. 

But the reality is....they are there for me.  I realized when I was standing in mom's ICU room that my sweet daughter's support is my lifeline.  And if it was my mother in law, she would be there with or without me, moving heaven and earth for her Grandma that she loves dearly.  Grandma (and grandpa) that attended ball games, concerts, that let her bake every time she visited, that rescued her from shopping trips when she was tired, that have made her feel loved from the moment she was born.  She has a totally different relationship with his mom than with mine.                                  

And I am sad for the choices, albeit HER choices, that have left my mom virtually alone.  The only phone calls to anyone that might notice she dropped off the map for a week or more....were two.  One sister and one phone acquaintance.  I have told a couple other family members, but that was mostly for my own benefit. 

Now, I am completely aware that these are choices that she has made.  And she is aware that she has made bad choices.  Is she sorry?  Probably not.  But it does leave me in a very hard position.  I know what the past is.  And I know there is a lot of hurt there, for many people.  She's not been honest in family dealings, creating hurt and conflict.  She stops speaking to friends or family and the person never knows why.  Spent her life savings and any money my Dad left us for attorneys to defend someone who DESERVED to go to prison.

  Hateful letters in the mail?  We've all received at least one.  And, for the LIFE of me, I cannot understand why you would ever even THINK of ruining your only grandchild's wedding because of an error on the address of your invitation.  Yeah, I understand. 

And reconciling the sweet mother that I remember as a small child and the person that has divided her children and chosen the current man was in her life over us, presents a real conflict for me.  At least when she is sick.  It's hard.  And I feel alone.  And overwhelmed.  And while I understand, God do I understand, it's hard.  But I can't walk away.  Not for the person she is, but because of who I am.   I don't expect her to change.  I'm not new here.  I know that she might not be speaking to me in a couple of weeks.  I have my eyes wide open.  Stupid?  Maybe.  But I do it because God told me to honor my parents.  He didn't tell me to like it, or to only do as much as I felt like, or decide what she deserved.  So for ME, and what I think God is telling me, I have to.  And I am really okay with that.  Really. 

But I will also take all the hugs I can get right now.

Warning: Ranting......

Normally, I like to write about things that are positive and upbeat.  But I have to get something off my chest. 

What the HECK is up with these FLDS women ???!?!

Okay....at first I had some really great jokes about the hair.  I mean, seriously, what is up with choosing hair like that.  It reminds me of a satellite dish that my father in law had in his backyard that picked up 982 channels. 

Then I read that it signifies that she is more "spiritual" than her sister wives.  (Or puts her 6" closer to God.)

Hmmm.  In the 80's the super glued bangs must have sprouted some Arch Bishops or Pope's.   

And my personal opinion is that any man stupid enough to have fifteen wives DESERVES the fifteen rounds of PMS that are bound to cycle through that place.  (Can I get an AMEN, Chad??) It's a miracle that no one has strangled one of those creeps.  Or perhaps the reason they are so tightly controlled.  To keep them from killing the men.

But what I really want to know is why aren't these women in orange jumpsuits and shackles instead of prairie garb for giving their 12, 13, 14 year old daughters to men old enough to be their grandfathers?  I remember when my own daughter was that age and starting to date.  We did everything but an FBI background check on anyone who dared call the house.  My husband actually had 8 shotgun shells lined up on the mantel with names on them at one point (part of a story for another time), and one young man probably will never be the same after Daddy Dear stepped out of the shadows as he was leaving our porch for a little "chat".  Just keeping them on their toes.  We watched.  We protected. 

But these CHILDREN are given to pedophiles under the name of "god" as something "holy".  (capital "g" left out intentionally.)  I cannot fathom why a mother would think it is okay to give her daughter's innocence to someone neither one of them know.  And I feel SORRY for them that they think that to get to God and to find favor with Him that you must follow so many rules and rituals.  It is sad to think that if you cut your hair, they believe you receive a lesser position in heaven.  That showing skin other than your hands or face, or telling a pervert no will result in you burning in hell.

What I do know is this:  The God that I believe in, the God that I love and serve, who loved me so much he sent his only Son, who died for my sins, who cares about the next breath that I take and about yours, too.  That the same God that is the Source for all things wonderful and beautiful and good and holy, is stronger than all of that.  He would NEVER ask that we take from our children their choice, their life, their spirit and give it to men they do not know or care about for the strangers pleasure.  Look at the vacant stare and the overly rehearsed answers. I don't care how you paint the picture, how you dress that pig up and parade it through town, the FACTS are that the Bible says we are to "let our light shine" and to be examples and to "go to all the earth preaching the Good news". 

Not holed up in some commune and allow the very life to be sucked out of our children. Not hide and keep ourselves away, judging and looking down our noses and teaching our kids that they will lose their eternal soul for showing an ankle.  Or the girl that made the call that started the whole thing asking "if you get me out of here will the black people hurt me?".  The same God that made you, made them.  He just doesn't make them pay for tanning.  What these people have done, and I realize it goes back generations for some, is terrible.  These nut jobs from Dumbbutt Texas make anyone who claims to be a Christian look bad. 

But God does love them.  Not the sin, but the sinner. 

And for that kind of care and passion from a loving and just God.....I am eternally grateful.

Ahhhhh, Spring!

I'm so excited!! 

I am LOVING the spring weather! 

So is Ralph...

This weekend he said "hey!  why don't we plant some flowers?"

So we did.

I guess he's tired of the "garden" looking like this.....

I bought this little stepping stone that says "expect miracles" when Patti had taken a turn for the worse one spring.  I don't know why, but it just speaks to me.

Ralph just stayed on me until I got busy. 

He was willing to help, though.  Ralph is good like that.

 

Then I had to stop and fill my car with gas and my happy weekend bit the dust. 

Holy crap, stuff is getting expensive!

I'll have to stay home and enjoy my flowers now!

For Charlene.......

This one is for you......

because you said (when I asked for what YOU wanted to see here..) "well, you could write about my grandkids, I'd like that!". 

And, after the last weekend, I have an abundance of pictures.  Silly ones, at that.

And, mostly because I've been so sick all week.  Yep.  But I promise, promise, promise I'll be better at blogging for the next couple weeks or so.  Or the next couple of days or so.  This is Kendell.  Or cousin it.  I'm not sure.  She's having a picnic on the deck with Grandpa, who happened to come in the house for a minute so I popped out.  I offered to eat with her, but she said.....no.  I don't think I'll ever get over it.....  I asked her where she got that really cool blanket.  "SHELL!".  I really didn't think she would remember. 

"She gave it to me for Christmas and it's my most favorite blanket."

Then she entrusted her new baby to Aunt Evie to babysit. 

Evie was of course delighted to babysit.  It was quite an honor. 

Then we got a visit from the bearded ladies and their bearded brother.  Remember how much fun baths used to be??  Why can't we have this much fun now???!!?

Warning: Andy, all the guys, close your eyes.  He's just near it, he's not wearing it...

For some reason, all of the kids LOVE helping Aunt Evie put on her makeup.  It's just FASCINATING to them and at one time or another, I have pictures of EACH one of them "helping" her put on her makeup. 

 

Then Phillip (Grandpa) noticed that Maddie was in the pantry.  Not just LOOKING in the pantry, but INSIDE the pantry. 

"Oh, she does it all the time". 

Still....looks kind of funny, doesn't it??

It fits her perfectly, and she doesn't have any problems getting back out.  It's kind of her "space"!

She did find a "little" something to snack on...

Her grandma is really good like that...

Riley cracked me up. 

I said "hey bud, you've got a powdered doughnut mustache!"   He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and said "no I don't" ....and took another big bite of doughnut......

They're so much fun.

Thanks for the suggestion Charlene!

Carolyn - I'm working on yours!!  It's just taking a little bit....... but I didn't forget.

anybody else????

We all got together this weekend for a very special event!  Riley has asked Jesus into his heart, to be the Lord (or "boss" in kidspeak) of his life!   It was so exciting.

Riley's cousin Connor started chanting "GO Riley, GO! GO Riley, GO!"

we just cracked up.

And, to make it even more special, his Dad Andy was the one to perform the baptism.  He gave a really sweet talk to Riley just before about how he and his mom (Tera) had prayed for Riley every day since he was born that this day would come.  It was really neat.    I'm sure Riley will always remember it.  And, to make it even more special, Mike came and gave Riley a cross that belonged to Aunt Patti.  Someday I need to do a blog on Patti.  Anyway...we all join in welcoming Riley to God's family.  Or as his little friend put it...."now we're brother's of the Faith!".  Kids are so funny.

What a great weekend.  Congrats, Riley!

Nearing 100......

I just checked my stats.....and I'm 10 posts away from the "100th" post.  So, here's what I want to know:  What do YOU want me to post for 100???

Answer weird questions?

Pictures?

Personal questions?

What makes me tick?  (Good luck on that one...)

Now you tell me.  Don't be shy.  Step right up and leave a comment here and tell me what you think I should do for the magic 100th.

Please??

Thanks!