The waiting room...

What ever happened to waiting room decorum?  I mean, NOBODY wants to be there.  If you are having to sit in the germ infested room  on rock hard chairs, I'm pretty sure you'd rather be somewhere else.  It can be boring, long, uncomfortable.  The news is rarely good.  I find myself in a rather small, stuffy waiting room with some kind of dark rubber liquid that was once coffee.  Just me and a very genteel man I'll call "Merle".  All three of us sitting in silence, waiting our turn.  Me for my mom to have a proceedure done, and him waiting for his own proceedure.  His lovely wife I'll call "Mildred" is by his side.

But once in a while......some blog material comes walking in the door.  I don't have one single clue who this family circus was, but they were definately one of a kind.  There was the loud head of the family, or "mama".  Bubba and his brother Durl.  And apparently their wives, Lurlene and IdaJean.  "Daddy" was the one having some unknown proceedure done.  By the time I spent 7 minutes in the same room with these people, I bet "Daddy" had begged to have a colonoscopy or exploratory surgery to have five minutes peace and quiet.   "Mama" was a really whiny older woman who clearly controlled the bunch with loudly SUGGESTING what she needed. 

And if there is one thing I can't stand, it's an adult who won't come out and ask for something.  And if you do it in baby talk, I'll give you a five second head start before gunning my engine.

"Now if I just had a drink of water to take my pill with.  But I don't." Lady, you are certainly old enough to ask one of your kids if they might get you a drink of water if you can't get your own.  So one of her kids takes the "hint" and offers her a drink of their bottle of Coke. 

"I don't like Coke but I'll take one little sip just to get my pill down!" (Oh, super.  I'll definately sleep better tonight knowing you got your pill). 

"THERE!  I took my pill!!"  (Hallelujah!!)

But bringing the traveling family circus to town, wouldn't you think ONE of the group would realize that not everyone wants to know that you think these nabisco crackers are "purdy good" for the 25th *&^%$ time.

At least 17 times IdaJean kept prompting in a loud nasally whine "now I promised Daddy I'd make you eeeeaat....." .  Get over it chicka.  Your mother is over 65 and she's going to do what she damn well pleases whether or not you promised Daaaa-dy or not.  But I must say when the nurse came and called his name, Merle bolted out of there like greased lightening, leaving Mildred with a deer in the headlights look on her face.  Whatever the test was he was in for couldn't begin to be worse than spending one more minute in that waiting room.  Just me and Mildred and the freaks.

Bubba and Durl must have been sons-in-law, because they seemed a bit disgusted at the whole thing. 

Then Mama states very loudly:  "Now.  We need to get yer brother offa them cigarettes.  We need ta talk ta him. "

At this point Lurlene and Durl jump up, "now you just need to settle down, mama!" (did I miss something??)  "You're gettin' all riled up.  Just settle down!"

At this point my mom's nurse pops her head in the door and calls my name.  I bolt just like Merle.  Sorry Mildred!!