".....we start and end with the family"

 

This week we said goodbye to my Aunt, Phyllis Hawkes.  She was always "Aunt Phyl" to me.  Part of an "aunt and uncle" package.  Even though I lost the "uncle" part of the package when I was 12, a year before my Dad died, she was always part of that special package.  I have lots of aunts and uncles.....mom is the oldest of eight.  But I realized something this week.  I realized where I GET IT FROM.  I finally got.......where I get it. 

Family is SO very important to me.  The bond.  The belonging.  I love every bit of it.  The crowded family get-togethers, the sleeping on the floor because there are more people than beds, waiting in line for the bathroom, piling in the cars for church, passing babies, napping on strange beds.  The whole family scene.  And one thing I realized this week is, this is the side of the family that I get that from.  I guess you would have to have been at one of the dinners at Grandma Hawkes's house to FULLY understand the "crowded dinner" thing.  She had a little house, but it was so packed with love.  When we were all there for Sunday dinner (fried chicken, mashed potatoes, rolls, etc), quite literally the dining room was wall to wall people.  If you needed to go to the bathroom, and you were on the other half of the table, you had to go out the back door, around the side of the house, in the front door and go to the ONE bathroom.  There was a table down the middle, and every chair in the house around that table.  With Grandma's violets in the window sills, it's one of the best memories of my life.  My brother got his first stitches from falling in that room.  My aunt was a big part of that.  To this very day, one thing I remember vividly is that her skin always looked so...luminous.  It seemed like if you reached out and touched her cheek it would feel like velvet. She was always so pretty. 

I used to spend a week with my Grandma every summer.  I can't remember if it is one summer that I remember best, or a piece of many, but I ALWAYS, ALWAYS remember my cousin, Sharon, and my Aunt Phyl, and some of the best times I ever had.  My Aunt Phyl bought me the COOLEST outfit ever.  I still remember it vividly.  It had bell bottoms, and a puffy little top and was every inch wonderful.  Sharon would take me to Clown Town in Hutchinson and we would jump on the trampolines.  That was certainly well before everyone had one in their own backyard.   It was a BIG deal.   And to this very day, I model what I do for the Fourth of July because of what my Uncle Frank did.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the Fourth of July.   I'm sure it started within me because of him.                                                 

  This is my cousin Sharon.  She's a bit older than I am (yes-huh!!) But I think we look more alike than she and her sister do.  I think we both get it from Grandma Leah.  I can't tell you how much I love her.  I always feel better after I am around her. We have a lot of similar history too.  We both lost our Dads (who were brothers) when we were really young.  Both Dads, though not looking a whole lot like each other, had sons who are living, breathing images of them.  It's almost like Twilight Zone weird......they are copies of their Dads.  Cloning was evident in the Hawkes family LONG before there was a scientific explanation for it.  My cousin, named after his Dad, has a voice as smooth as satin.  He would have made a great Pastor, his voice is so comforting.  I don't remember the sound of my Uncle Frank's voice, but family says they even sound identical.  And my brother has been asked by a complete stranger, while working on repairing a car, if he was Marvin Hawkes's son because the resemblance is so uncanny.  I think he worked with my Dad and just knew the minute he saw Duane.  I think it must be a part of God's plan, since both men were taken at such young ages, God left us with replicas so we could remember them. 

It's been a really long road for them lately.  My Aunt has been sick for several months.  And it hasn't been easy for any of them.  But they do have each other.  And she knew, without any doubts, that her kids were all there by her side, all loving her into Heaven when she took her last breaths.

And I just want to say right here: Sharon, you are an inspiration to me.  You were so kind and loving and sweet to Aunt Phyl while she was dying.  I know how very hard it's been, and I know you were stressed beyond imagination, and I want you to know that I admire and respect all you have done.  She would be so very proud of you and how you've handled everything.  I only hope I can be half the woman you are as I prepare to walk the same path. 

                                                And I am so thankful for my family.  For the pride and love they have taught me.  I'm going to be thinking of Frank on Monday.  He's facing a really scary surgery for cancer.  He got the bad news on Friday.  Aunt Phyl's birthday.  And two days before she died.  But he is a Christian, and I know that he knows where his strength lies.  And, in typical Hawkes humor, he has decided to not refer to it as "cancer" but gave it another HILARIOUS disease name.   We'll call it........Chicken Pox.  (This IS a family friendly website, after all).

Frank, we'll be praying for you and the Chicken Pox surgery on Monday.   

                                                             

So for right now, we might be saying goodbye Aunt Phyl. And I want to say that I'm really sorry I didn't make more of an effort to see you in recent years.  It seems we are always "too busy" until it is too late.   But I want you to know....I am so glad you were such an important part of my life.  That you helped give me that part of me that loves crowded family dinners and time spent together.   Thank you for the outfits you bought, for the enthusiasm you had when you gave them to us.  Thank you for the wonderful cakes and time with you.  I am so honored that I get to call you all "family".....

 It was a sad day...but a good day.  We were all together to say goodbye to a wonderful person.  

 

 

Comments

[jason kenny]

add more plants and put out food for them